I LOVE getting massages. If I had the money and the time, I would get a massage everyday. Not just because it feels good, but also because of the amazing health benefits. I’m a big fan of taking good care of yourself.
I’ll try any kind of massage, remedial, Thai, lomi lomi, shiatsu, man or woman therapist, I don’t care. I’m not shy. I made peace with my body a few years ago and I don’t intend to go back.
So when I went to get an Ayurvedic massage in Rishikesh on the advice of a trusted friend, I was totally relaxed about it. After several long cramped journeys on trains and buses, and many days of walking around exploring on foot, I really needed one. Go to Aelis for a cheap massage, he said. Righto!
We’ve all heard the saying before. That Everything in life is either a lesson, a gift or a test.
For the better part of the last year I have felt ashamed that I had been lured into a toxic relationship by an abusor. To the point where I couldn't bring myself to be honest with my friends and family about what was really going on. How could I be so naive? I knowingly accepted my fate, and contributed to my own demise by allowing myself to fall prey.
Ok, I know, I know, relationships are anything but easy. But how hard is too hard? I'm a Taurus and my partner is an Aries. A bull and a ram. Earth and Fire. Bound to be a challenge, for sure. The love and romance is so intensely beautiful and wonderful, but it sits on the edge of a blade at all times.
I am going forth with the material for this blog at the risk of offending my new friend, Greg. However, I have decided that, when it comes to connecting genuinely with other human beings, and that is my intention with this blog, and everything that I do for that matter, it is more important to be honest and authentic than it is to be polite. And that, I am confident, is a sentiment he would agree with.
It's time. I've warmed myself up with a few shorter walks over the past couple of days, I've avoided the fear long enough, time to jump in and text my hip flexors with a long(wish) walk! The Ormiston pound Loop at Ormiston Gorge
Being alone at night in the wilderness makes me anxious. I keep looking over my shoulder into the darkness, expecting to see god knows what, a crazy man coming at me from the bushes? In Canada, there are real things to be afraid of, like bears, and cougars. Here... not so much. Always when the morning comes, I realise that the fear was the most dreadful part of the evening.
Well I am dang happy I chose to sleep in the car last night because it rained heaps! And even though I was completely alone in the campground, I felt strangely exposed. I hung my makeshift curtain, seemingly pointlessly. I know if I was with someone else I wouldn't have done it. It was muggy inside the car, having to keep the windows closed to keep the bugs and the rain out. But I slept a lot better than I expected. I felt anxious about being “out there” all alone. But still managed to drift off relatively easily, and according to my sleep app, it was a very restful night. For someone with sleep issues, this is a big WIN!
Independence is a skill I've had to learn. Calling my man one last time before heading off out of mobile range, I was so sad knowing that I couldn't even talk to him for five whole days. Pathetic, I know! My natural inclination is towards codependancy. It's one of the reasons I've committed to myself that I need to get away on my own on a regular basis, at least once per year, and preferably camping. It forces me out of my introvert comfort zones and teaches me to "woman up" and solve problems on my own.
Let me give you a quick snapshot of day to day life in an outback roadhouse during the off season...