We've all heard it before. The only constant in life is change. We're all too familiar with the annoying way that life throws us the most colourful curveballs at the most unexpected times. And yet I still struggle to make friends with change. I love feeling comfortable and having a reasonable expectation of the outcome of the next coming days, weeks or years. And at the same time, I yearn for excitement and adventure. It's how I ended up in Australia. In Canada, I was bored with the same old routine, job, faces, long stretches of highway and endless dim skies pregnant with enough moisture to keep your socks damp all year round.
Off I went, adventure bound, expecting to be back home again in two months. On October 17th it will be ten years. Over the last decade I have been stuck between my love of adventure and the comfort of home, trying to find a balance between the two. But I seem to always fall into one extreme or the other. When I've had enough adventure, I hang up my boots and settle in for a few years. Eventually after a quiet period, I'm itchy to get moving again.
Before I came to Australia, I was... I'm gonna say... rigid. Very attached to schedules, expectations and outcomes, and would get very stressed and upset if things didn't go as planned. I'm not sure where this came from, but I suspect it has to do with an insecurity, a need to be in control of everything. But the more I try to control life, the more it fucks with me. And so, I'm learning to adapt. With the latest upheaval; flying to Melbourne with less than 24 hours notice to sell my house full of material things and lift my anchor to life in Victoria, I feel like I've grown gills and learned to breathe underwater. Ten years ago, I would have drown myself in cortisone from the stress and panic.
I have a feeling you'll know where I'm going to say that I've learned this new skill. Bikram Yoga =) Of course. The most valuable tool I have ever learned, to keep my cool in the hottest, sweatiest, most confronting contrived environment imaginable. I mean, I just went there for a work out. Little did I know, it was going to evolve me in such a profound and useful way. This, I feel, is the fountain of youth. The ability to remain calm and focused in spite of fear, danger, stress. I used to experience these emotions in my body, in the form of a racing pulse, sweat, shallow panicked breathing. Now I experience them in my brain, but it's more of an observation than an experience.
Heck, in another ten years I may have evolved into a platypus. Why not?